Friday, August 22, 2014



All my hopes,
All my dreams,
Shattered as it seems.
I made a mistake,
I let it slip,
Drugs caused my trip.
Now it’s lost,
Cant be found,
I must leave this town.
Away from the stares,
The angry glares,
The awful shouts.
It’s all about,
What I did or didn’t do.
You caused this,


When I am gone

Mourn not for me,
When I am gone.
I’m in a better place,
Cry not for me,
When I’m gone.
Tears are a waste.
If I were wrong,
Follow not in my place.
Even though I am gone,
There is no time to kill.
You must all live on.



Time passes,
He glances,
My way.
What do I say?
Here he stands,
Holding my hand.
What do I do?
He leans close,
Who wants who the most?
I don’t know.
Just take it slow.


To the Grave

In the graveyard she waits,
In the graveyard of loves death.
For the lonely soul like her own.
After time she will give up,
Believing all the good ones are gone,
And to rest forever her heart.
Weary of life’s travels,
Heavy from burdens of the past,
Freedom will never come,
In this graveyard
Called love.


The lost mind

The pain that took his life,
The river that took him away,
The drugs he took couldn’t save,
The mind lost.
The car that took him,
The pain it caused me.
I knew them all,
They went away,
Pain is left,
I couldn’t say.
I cared for them all,
All were friends.
One was brother,
One was father,
One was love,
One hardly known.
The last who took her life,
Was me in all my grief.
The lost mind roams,
Looking to live again.


Sins of the past

You’re so close,
And yet so afar.
Here in my heart,
Pure bliss.
In my mind,
As I dream of this.
A past filled with memories,
Hope building into a fire,
Fanning my desire.
To go back to a life long forgotten,
Plain desperation,
Silent hesitation,
Pondering the moment.
Fear building,
Inside of me.
Passion, faithful,
Pain growing,
Who’s to blame?
A time long ago past,
Is my only refuge.
I go to at last,
To escape into freedom,
From long ago sins.
Forever learning life begins,
Where it once ended.
Trying to set me free,
But still,
I am bound to eternity.
Wandering alone,
Until my past does embrace me,
Taking me home.
Into your arms,
Freedom at last,
From the sins of the past.



Out of the light
Into the dark
It’s just me here
With my broken heart
Vile thing that it is
Wish it would die
So I could live
You just left me here to die
One winter’s day
Without a single word
You just went away
What kind of cold soul
Could leave me like you did
I’ll hate you until the end
I’d hunt you down
Yet its better I think
Without you around
The bitter death
Of a woman scorned


The way I loved you was unconditionally
But still you chose her over me
I’ll never understand
As I hold this gun in my hand
I raise it in silent air
And bury it in my hair
I’m so sorry I whisper to the night
A bullet in my brain and I’ll be alright
Before the gun could make a sound
He called my name
I turned around
Don’t do it please he said
I dropped to my knees
So instead of me
I shot him
So I’ll never be hurt by him again
But as I pull him out the door
There is his girl standing in horror
You shot him he’s dead
She called to me
Shut up you’re next I said calmly
So I took out the gun
She began to run
My perfect aim
Shattered through her brain
But before I could turn the gun on me
The cops came quickly
So now I’m here
Surrounded by white
They think I’m crazy
They’re right.


Remember Me

Remember me dearest love,
If you miss me look above.
There I stand,
On the clouds looking about,
Holding your hand.
Remember me dearest friend,
I will watch over thee,
Until the end.
There I shall stand,
Looking down,
Hold up your hand.
Remember me till the end.
I refuse to lie,
If you need me,
Look to the sky.



I could sleep for a thousand years and not escape the emptiness I feel without him. the world is so cold outside of his embrace. Without his innocent smile, darkness surrounds me. Eternity has never looked so dim, so dark, so depressing as it does now that I am faced with a life cast away from my love, my light, and my hope.
I can not bare the thought of a life without his tender embrace. My black ice heart is breaking. I’ve never felt such agony as I do now. I long for his touch, his lips on mine, our eyes locked together as the world melts away around us. But, it can never be so. He is long gone by now, perhaps even in love with another. The mere thought causes tears to stream down my face.
I stand on the edge of the abyss. So completely alone, I look out across the empty world, praying for his return. Yet I know, should I continue on this eternal path without him, I will gladly end my own suffering. What good is the salvation of the damned when love can’t even save me? Here I am, falling into endless darkness, completely unsure with desperation. Do I deserve to be saved? If not, let me die quickly. If so, catch me as I fall from grace.


Precious time

A time to think
A time to dream
A time to use
A time to share
A time to love
A time to lose
A time to care
No time to waste
Time is precious
Don’t give in.


In Pieces

A glass shattered on the floor,
A rose’s petals on the ground,
A simple story,
Of how my life turned around.
A puzzle torn to its pieces,
Scattered in the wind,
Things drifting from their place,
Is how it all begins.
My tears are the glass,
My heart, petals of a red rose,
My life the puzzle,
Never to be whole.


I’ll be there

When you’re feeling down,
Just look around,
And I’ll be there.
When skies are gray,
And you wonder if you’ll live another day,
I’ll be there.
Keep on smiling,
Keep on trying,
Keep on striving,
To reach your goals.
Turn your world around,
Get rid of that frown,
Even when life’s upside down,
I’ll be there.
I know its going to be ok,
We’ll see another sunny day,
I’ll always be there.


Guilt – Featuring Barbara Santiago and Heather Fleischman

My guilt is eating me up inside
Now I have to hide
Everyone knows what I did wrong
Throwing it around
They say that I have lost my mind
He left me behind
The lies he told me
Left me blind
I could never forgive him
They know what I did
I wanted to get rid of him
He hurt me too bad to live
So now I must go away
Because of the words they say
They say I killed him
But they are wrong
I know who did
The man who loved life
The life he gave for me
He took his own life
To blame me.


Good bye friend

The sunset was our place to be.
Now like the sun,
Your life has set before me.
I’ll never understand why you had to go.
I guess god will only know.
You should take me too,
If I could go.
Please just take a part of me with you.
You touched a special place in my heart.
A place no one else has gone in so long.
If you must stay by my side.
Be my life’s guide.
I will miss you now that you are gone.
I just feel so alone.
Goodbye friend…


From Below to Above

Peaceful rest comes over me,
I am blinded,
Can not see.
Who is there?
I do not know.
I just have to take it slow.
Rising above the ground,
I fly around.
My body is buried deep,
Six foot under my body sleeps.
In a field of stone and grass,
My soul is free at last.
My friends mourn not for me,
I’m in a better place,
We will meet again you’ll see.


Forest rain

The sky is grey,
The birds don’t sing,
Wind picks up,
Animals take shelter.
Thunder booms through the silence,
Lightening lights up the sky,
The rain pours down quickly,
It ends just as soon as it began.
The sky turns blue,
The birds sing,
Wind dies down,
Animals emerge.



Time passes,
This is for sure.
Casting glances,
Wanting more.
You entered my life,
One fine day.
Asked me to be your wife,
Now we’re on our way.
Above the stars,
Below the moon,
Headed to mars,
Make room, make room!


He aint no knight in shining armor,
But he sure looks good in bibs.
He don’t carry me off on a white horse,
We do our work on a deer, John Deer.
He aint very romantic,
He aint what the world calls cool.
But to see him in action,
Now that’s what is good.
He knows the life,
He knows the way,
A farmer in this modern world.
What else can I say?

A brief moment shared in time, never forgotten.
In Loving memory of Normand Pavwoski.



Suns fire and rain,
Falling again,
Passing over the simplest of things.
Blessed peace,
Scornful reach,
Sentenced to never end.
Painful bliss,
Over what I missed,
Most of which is you.
Like the rain,
Falling again,
I fall into myself dreaming.
Fire in the sky,
Not understanding why,
Faltering in the wind.
Deadly screech,
Beyond my reach,
I feel I have lost again.
Blessed by your presence,
I feel the resistance,
Under my skin.
Run away,
As quick as you came.


Drinking again
I stumbled out the swinging doors
And shouted curses to the man
That threw me out … again.
“Closing time. You better go home.” he shouted.
I told him where to go.
Where am I?
Where is home?
I need a drink.
I’ll find a bar.
Wait a minute.
Where’s my car?
Oh yeah,
I don’t drive.
They took it away
To keep me alive.
“What do they know?”
I shouted to a tree.
“I’m serphicly phober!”
I stumbled on,
Totally tripped.
I couldn’t remember
What happened last.
I saw bright lights,
A neon sign,
No it’s moving.
It’s coming my way.
As I fly through the air,
Listen to what I say.
Drinking is wrong.
But I didn’t drive.
Hoping to keep someone alive.
Still I’m lying here,
In my own blood.
Because I chose to drink.



My head feels dense,
My eyes sting,
I’m stumbling around,
Trying to find something.
What is it? I forgot.
Oh yeah, coffee pot.
No, that’s not it.
Maybe it was a space ship.
Nope wrong,
Was it short or long?
Now I remember I see the sign.
A neon light,
Is my guide.
I was out drinking,
So I forgot,
I was looking for a place,
That sold shots.



Without a dream
We are adrift
In the endless sea
Caught somewhere
Between reality and fantasy
I could see in you
Things I wished I could be
Strong wise full of pride
A spirit wild and free
Alone I’ve walked
For so long I could not see
Hold me close don’t let go
Let me know this is more than a dream
I’ll wait for you
Beyond time
For a piece of this dream
For in my mind
You’re already real
Yet things aren’t what they seem



At first sight I couldn’t see,
Just what lay ahead for me.
Sunset upon the endless day,
Beyond my vision, take me away.
Open field, spacious green,
Do not wake me from this dream.
Cast me not into the light,
I want to stay here tonight.
Forgotten past, so far away,
Bring me to the one who stays,
True to me as I to him,
Give unto me life again.
Breathe unto me endless life,
While I dream deep through the night.
One last kiss before I go,
For my heart will ache me so.
Cast once again into the light,
I await my chance to dream tonight.


Dream Rose

A simple rose can say so much,
It’s just as important as a smile or a touch.
I have seen you in my dreams,
You have seen me as it seems.
Do we believe our souls are one?
Can we say our search is done?
What a wonderful mystery,
With a rose’s simplicity.



A box in the back yard,
Covered in cloth.
Hidden inside looking hard,
Blue eyes so soft.
Crawling out onto the grass,
Galloping through the field.
Free at last,
A horse need not yield.
Hidden deep in the woods,
Silently creep,
As quiet as  I could,
A deer never sleeps.
A young child dreams,
Lost in a deep trance.
Reality is only what it seems,
At a child’s first glance.


As the snow falls

Gentle white flakes drift to the ground.
I watch from the window as it falls down.
Like a Child's toy you shake,
And the snow falls,
Most beautiful.
The winter is come,
Old things are done.
Crimson red,
Washed white as snow.
I have it all.
Reminded as the snow falls.


A new way to fly

You know I hate standing by,
And watching you spread your wings and fly.
I still know your wings are broken.
Your heart is hurting,
Its breaking mine.
You just get off the ground,
You think you’re flying high.
Boy I could tell you something,
About your new way to fly.
You fall again but keep on trying.
The trait in you I admire most.
I keep seeing you trying,
While I have given up.
I mend my broken wings,
Watching you tend to your own.
Finding a new way to fly.

LYRIC - Sleep forever more

in the depths of nightmares
One silently creeps
Eager to steal the soul
Of the one that sleeps
You will see me as none have before
Tonight I will lead you
Straight through deaths door
In the absence of good sense you weep
While in the shadows I do creep
To take your mind so deep
Deeper down through deaths door
Coming to settle a score
Darkness claims the whore
For there shall be no more
After I take you through deaths door
Die for me my beauty
Exist  in darkness forever more

LYRIC - Sands of time

The day we met I told myself
It wouldn’t go this far
Now I see I was wrong
Can’t deny the matters of the heart
Sands of time fade away
Until the day I can’t see your face
I see where it went so wrong
Can’t go without you for long
I stay away believing
That it is what’s best for us all
Yet I can’t help but feel
I deny the truth in my heart
Sands of time fade away
Until the day I can’t see your face
I see where it went so wrong
Can’t go without you for long
One more day
I’ll be strong enough
To be without you

LYRIC - Reaper

mine eyes have seen
The beauty of darker things
Tear flesh from bone
Thou shalt not die alone
Come to me my frail being
And see what lies in stone
Face to face the blood shall erase
All trace of the unknown
Flaming desire burning like fire
Taking us higher
Than the thrones of the gods
You can not resist
That which I am
Bound by need
Sealed in flesh
Set in stone
Soon the grave
Shall become your home
Your fate is sealed
It is revealed
I am what you hate
But I know you can’t wait
To give yourself over to me

LYRIC - Mariners tale

Waves break on the shore,
Furry builds for the ancient one.
I struggle against the tide with my oar,
But the mariner has his fun.
My time is near,
The waves bring me up,
There is no fear,
The sea shares its luck.
Upon the shore broken and alone,
I sit and ponder.
The sea is my home.
But I have to wonder,
In storms is he my shelter or enemy?
Once again I battle the tides,
Leaning on his grace.
I know there is no place to hide,
Staring into the ancient ones face.
I struggle in the night,
Looking to the sky.
Then I see the light,
It makes me wonder why.
Upon the shore broken and alone,
I sit and ponder.
The sea is my home.
But I have to wonder,
In storms is he my shelter or enemy?

LYRIC - Ignorance is bliss

I see you standing there
The girl without a care
Completely unaware
That you’re about to die
I know it comes for you
For death will know the truth
There is nothing you can do
To hide the endless lies
I can hardly wait
To watch you suffocate
Choke on the life you make
For you don’t even try
Come away with me
So you may finally see
How futile it will be
To ever question why
And now you die
For what you’ve done
You had no right
This world is mine
I am the only one

LYRIC - Free me

My dark insanity
For what future do you bring
Softly do the demons sing
A song of agony divine
Bring me ever so closer
To ebony departure
A violent rapture freedom from fleshly desire
Embrace death in harmony
Into darkness I do descend
Farther away from that I crave
I take it all to my grave
My dark insanity
for what future do you bring
Softly do the demons sing
A song of agony divine
Open the door, come on through
See what I have in store for you
A million eyes out of darkness rise
Come forward to consume
My dark insanity I am ready
Free me from this fleshly demise

LYRIC - Forever Damned

razors edge
Sharpened upon flesh
Watch as the blood flows
Down skin white as snow
Goddess divine
Your soul is now mine
Forever frozen in time
Drink the blood from my veins
Weep as you whisper my name
Know it will never be the same
Condemned forever as I am
Forever we’ll be damned
Forever we’ll be damned
Forever you are damned
Forever you are damned

You come for me
In the depths of my dreams
A wicked succubus
Of torment and greed
Out of control
I give myself to you
Falling forever
For the evil that you do
Your lips like sweet red wine
Pour poison through my veins
It’s just a matter of time
Before I’m six feet under
A rotting corpse torn asunder
By vile creatures of natures game
Death by loves devouring flame